Heath Bell 2012: It's Not Because He's Fat

[MiamiHomer]

Give him to the Giants, they'll bite.

[Mainge]

Give him to the Giants, they'll bite.

Not even Sabean would take that contract. Because it's fucking terrible.

[Bobbob1313]

TIME MARCHES OOOON

[MiamiHomer]

Tell him we'll release Cousins from the organization as well.

[TheMendozaLine]

If we can't trade him, then we might as well use his fat ass to plug the leak in the roof.

[Beef]

[MiamiHomer]

I miss Ceda, at least he was young and fat.

[emkayseven]

yeah never thought I'd turn on Bell this fast

[Chewford]

Bell is such an outstanding troll. I admire how much he can troll. He gets paid $9 million on average per season to totally shit all over the place. The team fights the entire game to gain the lead, and then he comes along and gives away the lead effortlessly and then goes on to collect a paycheck for an amount most of us can't even imagine. And that paycheck is guaranteed for the next 3 years. No matter how much he sucks he still gets that money.

Normally, if an employee just goes into the office and shit all over everyone's desks, he would cease being paid. If I go out and yell obscenities in German at all my students and make them cry, I wouldn't get paid anymore. If Festa opened a park where visitors could swim with the piranhas, he wouldn't get paid anymore. If Daft decided to arrest a whole bunch of nuns without charge, he would certainly have problems. If bobbob wrote an article hailing Tim Tebow as the best professional athlete in history, well, he would probably get a huge raise and a promotion. If an architect designed an overpass and it ended up being a retractable roof baseball stadium, he would probably be in serious trouble.

Then there's Heath Bell, who is guaranteed to make $27 to be simply the worst at what he does.

[Valid]

Not even Sabean would take that contract. Because it's fucking terrible.

I think I'd rather eat that entire $27 million contract than see him pitch another inning as a Marlin. Just awful.

[MiamiHomer]

joe capozzi @joecapMARLINS

Ozzie told bell he will b used earlier in games for next few days until he gets it right. #Marlins

...

[Jorge18]

Good thing Guillen listened to me. Put his ass out there to work every other game in the 8th, until he proves he can get people out.

[Chewford]

I think there's a chance he might not have gotten the idea from you.

[HUGG]

No, he did.

[Jorge18]

Yea, he called me earlier and asked for some help.

Obviously he listened to me.