Marlins Vs Jon Garland @ The Gaslight District

[Ramp]

Mike Stanton: You cannot be the Marlins all-time leader in homeruns forever, Dan.
Dan Uggla: I will not fight you.
Mike Stanton: Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your record. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for your homeruns are strong. Especially for... boomstick. So, you have a boomstick. Your feelings have now betrayed it, too. Mike Lowell was wise to hide it from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side... then perhaps it will...
Dan Uggla: [igniting laser bat, screams] NO!

I can has BOOMSTICK!?

[Metes]

[Fish and Chips]

Since the ASB:

Ricky Nolasco: 4 Starts 3-1 28.0 IP, 20 H, 10 ER, 5 BB, 30 SO, 2 HR, 3.21 ERA .513 OPS
Anibal Sanchez: 3 Starts 2-1 21.0 IP, 14 H 4 ER, 6 BB, 19 SO, 1 HR, 1.71 ERA, .523 OPS
Josh Johnson: 3 Starts 2-1 19.1 IP 20 H, 4 ER, 4 BB, 23 SO, 1 HR, 1.86 ERA, .647 OPS
4/5th Starter: 6 Starts 2-2 27.2 IP, 38 H, 20 ER, 13 BB, 17 SO, 3 HR, 6.43 ERA

[Ramp]

H2R
LoMo
Gaby
Uggla
Ross
Stanton
Helms
Paulino
JJ
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nothing doing in the top half for the fish
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JJ a little shaky here
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jesus christ
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2-0 Padres

[wanks1212]

this is unfavorable

[Ramp]

holy balls, wtf is going on

[TealMonster08]

JJ is doing a Rich Harden imitation?

[FishFF]

This is rubbish.

[Ramp]

what an abortion of a 1st inning
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good baserunning by Cody

[wanks1212]

great ab by stanton

[Ramp]

good at bat by Stanton

Pro Hitter up here in a big spot
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fuckin Helms, jesus man just put it in play

2 gone

[Beef]

WHAT A PROFESSIONAL AT BAT!

right? hope nobody has said it yet

[TealMonster08]

Way to beat me to it, Beef.
RonPaul might save the day though.

[Swifty]

Why I hate Rich and Tommy: they were ready to kill Stanton for striking out. Nothing said for Helms' suck fest.

[Ramp]

huge hit by Ronny