Marlins Vs Diamondbacks, 9:40et, Chase Field

[Ramp]

So here's what we got.

No hitter Anibal Sanchez on the mound.

But more importantly, we have disposed of the demon that is Chris Volstad.

The Marlins are +4 in run differential when Chris Volstad is stuck in New Orleans. They are 1-0 without him near the dugout. Josh Johnson does not give up runs when Volstad cannot breathe on him. The Marlins are 39-44 when Chris Volstad is wearing a Marlins jersey this season. The Marlins are 4-13 when he starts. The Marlins are 4-8 when Chris Volstad gets a decision. Chris Coghlan is hitting just .277 when Volstad is not in the minors. Hanley Ramirez has an OPS of "just" .870 when Volstad is not in the minors. John Baker gets hurt when Chris Volstad is not in the minors. Brett Carroll doesn't even get to be on the team when Volstad is not in the minors. Fredi Gonzalez gets fired when Volstad is up with the team. Josh Willingham didn't even make the All Star Team because he once shook hands with Chris Volstad.

IT IS A NEW ERA FOR THE MARLINS. IT BEGAN LAST NIGHT. IT CONTINUES TONIGHT. GET ON THE BANDWAGON, FUCKERS.
--------------------
Coghlan
Sanchez
Ramirez
Cantu
Uggla
Ross
Stanton
Hayes
Anibal

[Bobbob1313]

Stanton gon go boomers.

[emkayseven]

wonder if lebron will be there

he gon be a marlins fan

[FishFanInPA]

Tim Wood's home. Hopefully the team leaves him there.

[emkayseven]

straight from Tim Wood's mouth: "I'm still learning how to pitch"

unfortunately we all know

[Ramp]

game timeeeeeeeeee

[Bobbob1313]

The heat have never signed Chris Bosh and LeBron James while Volstad was on the active roster.

[emkayseven]

good team relay there

[Ramp]

Gracie fellating the hell out of JJ

[Beef]

I hope Dirt fuckin kills the Marlins all night and makes you all miserable

[Ramp]

you don't mean that
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Cantu sucks much

[emkayseven]

i'm at the point where if we can get a warm body for cantu i'll be happy

we'd get better with lomo anyway

[HUGG]

wonder if lebron will be there

he gon be a marlins fan

Um, he doesn't root for teams in the city he plays in.

He will come to a game or two in a Yankees cap and leave in the 5th inning though.

He grew up rooting for the Yankees, Cowboys and Bulls. You can't even make that up.
--------------------
New Orleans is 0-1 since Chris Volstad got sent down and they are losing tonight.
--------------------
Logan Morrison is 1 for 6 since Volstad got assigned there.

[Ramp]

jesus that ball was smashed
--------------------
good swing there by Brett

[THE_REAL_MIBS]

If you guys are trying to make me mad, it's working. I'm about to start negging everyone that says stupid crap about stuff happeneing/not happening when Volstad is/is not there.