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Renyel Pinto the Punk

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  • Renyel Pinto the Punk

    With his slightly rotund figure and an Afro mushrooming out from under his cap, Renyel Pinto is one of the more conspicuous members in the Florida Marlins' bullpen. He had a career year this season, sporting a very impressive 3.23 ERA in 73 appearances.

    But outside LandShark Stadium, the 27-year-old Venezuelan middle reliever has been a master of evasion. This past May 30, he was tooling his pimped-out white Infiniti SUV through Hallandale Beach when cops pulled him over and discovered he didn't have a valid driver's license. He was ordered to appear in Broward County court June 16.

    Our hero must have assumed the police were talking about some other Renyel Pinto, one who doesn't earn a presidential salary by putting on a jockstrap and flip-shades six months out of the year. He didn't show for the court date. His driving privileges were suspended, and a warrant was issued for his arrest. He'll face a $2,000 bond when he's nabbed.

    But that's just how Pinto rolls, bro — as his scorned business manager can attest. According to a lawsuit filed September 4 in Miami-Dade civil court, the pitcher breached his contract with Pro-Management Resources Inc. when he "failed to pay" a 1.5 percent cut of his $400,000 2009 salary. That comes to $6,000 — a figure your average big-leaguer might spend on rims for his Hummer golf cart.

    Tony Chirlcosta, CEO of the Coral Springs-based management company, told Riptide he "[didn't] want to comment on pending litigation."

    On September 12, the morning before he pitched a scoreless inning against the Washington Nationals, Pinto was served with papers at his luxury condo in Hallandale Beach.

    Brace yourself: He didn't respond to the suit. On October 23, Pro-Management was awarded a default judgment for the entire six grand. But by then, Pinto was presumably already wherever it is ballplayers go in the off-season — some tacky Shangri-la where every blonde is platinum and Affliction T-shirts sprout from the soil.

    Riptide had no luck tracking him down for comment, and he ignored emails sent to his personal account. So we were forced to stalk him via Facebook, where his profile photo shows him wearing an enormous platinum watch on his left wrist while flipping the double bird at the camera.

    But maybe Pinto really doesn't need a business manager. He was smart enough, after all, to deny our Facebook friend request.
    http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2009-11...-jilted-agent/
    Originally posted by Madman81
    Most of the people in the world being dumb is not a requirement for you to be among their ranks.
    Need help? Questions? Concerns? Want to chat? PM me!

  • #2
    What is the Miami New Times and why couldn't they give me information without sounding like Pinto broke up with the guy that wrote this when he was 12?

    Comment


    • #3
      Not that it's hard to find, but here's a link to the facebook. The picture is awesome.

      http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?....3109245212..1

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      • #4
        this does nothing but make me dislike Pinto even more.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Blackout Pact View Post
          this does nothing but make me dislike Pinto even more.


          Exactly my thoughts

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          • #6
            I'm the complete opposite. I figured he was a tard anyway, this just reinforces it

            also, using "bro" in a newspaper article is embarrassing

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            • #7
              using "bro" at any time is embarrassing, unless it's done in an ironic/mocking manner. and even then, it's still kinda embarrasing.

              also, a 2K bond for a misdemeanor driving offense is amusing. nice work, judge.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by wanks1212 View Post
                using "bro" at any time is embarrassing, unless it's done in an ironic/mocking manner. and even then, it's still kinda embarrasing.
                I challenge this statement.

                http://www.broslikethissite.com

                (Ramp gave me the link).

                Comment


                • #9
                  Nope.

                  Yes, Ramp gave it to you.

                  But, nope.

                  That site is basically made for the writer of this article. Guy that thinks he is funny and can't drink beers unless it is part of a drinking game and uses a few cases of gel every morning and stands in the parking lot on his phone yelling AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NAH WAAAY BRAAAAAAAAAH just so everyone else can think, hey that loser has a friend? Weird!

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                  • #10
                    I somehow doubt Gus Garcia Roberts drinks anything but appletinis

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                    • #11
                      i've seen the bros site. a guy i went to college with shares it on facebook like once a week, because he's a bro himself (i don't think he's caught on that it's mocking people like him).

                      i was under the impression that site was done to mock douchebags like beef described, not to be a site where those douchebags congregate and talk about brotastic things. similarly, i was under teh impression the writer was using bro in the same way. which is still kinda embarrasing, but not nearly as embarrasing if he were actually being serious about it.

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                      • #12
                        The aborted child of Stuff White People Like.

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                        • #13
                          that's a good way to put it.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by wanks1212 View Post
                            i've seen the bros site. a guy i went to college with shares it on facebook like once a week, because he's a bro himself (i don't think he's caught on that it's mocking people like him).

                            i was under the impression that site was done to mock douchebags like beef described, not to be a site where those douchebags congregate and talk about brotastic things. similarly, i was under teh impression the writer was using bro in the same way. which is still kinda embarrasing, but not nearly as embarrasing if he were actually being serious about it.
                            Pretty sure it's a site where bros congregate. The comments on the site are outstanding.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              yeah, i've read the comments. i can't believe some of the bros described are creative enough to come up with some of the names, etc, let alone smart enough to use a computer. they simply have to be ironic.

                              otherwise, holy shit.

                              Comment

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