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Jeffrey Loria Sells Painting Worth Slightly Less Than Entire Marlins Roster

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  • Jeffrey Loria Sells Painting Worth Slightly Less Than Entire Marlins Roster


    Jeffrey Loria Sells Painting Worth Slightly Less than Entire Marlins Roster


    Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria sold a painting that cost more than any one player on the team's roster.

    In fact, it cost slightly less than the entire Marlins combined roster.

    Loria sold the painting for a cool $32 million.

    The 2013 Marlins roster comes in at a combined $39 million.

    LO VISTE!

    Christie's in New York recently held an art auction and dealing art is Loria's area of expertise. Well, that and destroying baseball franchises and screwing baseball fans and their cities over.

    The painting, "Diego en chemise ecossaise," by Alberto Giacometti, was reportedly worth about $50 million, but Loria was only able to fetch $32.6 million for it.

    Still, that's not too shabby, seeing how this was a record amount for a Giacometti.


    "Diego en chemise ecossaise," by Alberto Giacometti. Sold for $32 million. Giancarlo Stanton's contract? $537,000

    And that's all fine and well. Loria is a businessman and he's an art dealer and this is how he makes his scratch.

    The problem with all this is, of course, that one painting by an obscure expressionist Swiss artist costs slightly less than the entire roster of his professional baseball team. The one he threatened to move to San Antionio unless Miami-Dade's tax payers bought him a snazzy new ballpark. The one he keeps dismantling for "financial" reasons.

    "It's par for the course with this guy," ESPN personality Jorge Sedano tells New Times of Loria's latest sale. "Should we be surprised by anything he does?"

    Yea, probably not.

    Loria has always been a slime (as baseball fans in Montreal tried to warn us about!). But, ever since the truth about Marlins Park was revealed, and then the subsequent fire sale by the team last year, the man has become a pariah.

    Not only did Loria go back on his word and trade away some of the Marlins best players -- among then reigning AL MVP Miguel Cabrera, Hanley Ramirez, and Anibal Sanchez, all ballplayers who helped their respective teams reach the League Championship Series -- he also had the gonads to threaten to sue a couple of Marlins season ticket holders who complained to the team after their front-row view of a game was with a billboard.

    Sedano, who hosts Sedano And Stink on ESPN Radio, says that he gets that Loria is a businessman, doing businessman things. But that he needs to stop hosing Marlins fans with his insufferableness.

    "I understand if he's going to treat the team like a business, then he should," Sedano says.

    "But don't blow it up and then lie to the fans. Most owners treat their teams like a hobby, with passion. And that passion is seen when they spend what they need to spend to better their ballclubs. This guy is like George Steinbrenner on food stamps."

    Sedano rightfully points to Loria's stubborn, laughable insistence that he knows baseball. For years Loria has pointed out how Ivan Rodgriguez, who came to the Marlins in 2003 at the end of his career, and was part of the World Series winning team, is proof that he knows baseball.

    Loria got crazy luck with Rodriguez. Also, that was a decade ago. Since then, he's gotten rid of talent more than he's acquired it. And his go-to explanation remains that the team simply can't compete with other teams because of finances.

    Then he goes and sells a painting that could literately buy him a bullpen and keep Giancarlo Stanton in Miami long term.

    "I get it, hes an art dealer," Sedano says. "I just feel bad for that organization. They've got good people working for that team. And the fanbase deserves so much better. Yet they're stuck with this guy."

    Jorge Sedano just doesn't appreciate fine art!

    Now let's all go sell these Stanton jerseys at a garage sale before he gets traded to the Nationals.

  • #2
    this thread should be wonderful

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    • #3
      Kind of a cool painting, actually.

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      • #4
        I like the bullpen?

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        • #5
          Loria has no eye for talent or art. The fucking guy's head is way to small for the size of his body in that painting.

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          • #6
            Art collecting is one of those really hilarious pastimes of the super-rich.
            This post was brought to you by: Dat SEC Speed

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            • #7
              I'm pretty sure I drew something that resembled this painting in 3rd grade art class.

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              • #8
                The painting, "Diego en chemise ecossaise," by Alberto Giacometti, was reportedly worth about $50 million, but Loria was only able to fetch $32.6 million for it.

                Still, that's not too shabby, seeing how this was a record amount for a Giacometti.
                it's "worth" $50 million and yet the $32.6 million he got for it is the most one of this dude's paintings has ever sold for

                so how the fuck is it worth $50 million

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                • #9
                  Before it started, Samson said the auction would end in a pile...

                  ...of $50 million cash.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Hugg View Post
                    it's "worth" $50 million and yet the $32.6 million he got for it is the most one of this dude's paintings has ever sold for

                    so how the fuck is it worth $50 million
                    Someone thought it was worth 50. It wasn't.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MiamiHomer View Post
                      I'm pretty sure I drew something that resembled this painting in 3rd grade art class.
                      I'm pretty sure you didn't.


                      I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure.


                      #I'veSeenALottaThirdGradeDrawings

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                      • #12
                        Sounds like Loria has to find another way to put an extra 17.4 million in his pocket if he expected 50 million for it. O well guess there goes the salary bump for us this year and next

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                        • #13
                          That's way more money than any of us will earn in a lifetime combined and it's a fucking stupid picture.
                          Need help? Questions? Concerns? Want to chat? PM Hugg!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by tjfla View Post
                            Sounds like Loria has to find another way to put an extra 17.4 million in his pocket if he expected 50 million for it. O well guess there goes the salary bump for us this year and next
                            seems like something one of those "fans" you talked about yesterday would say

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                            • #15
                              I hope his tax bill is ridiculous.

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